Honduran Beers

I have taken a recent blogging hiatus for two reasons: 1. Teaching in 90 degree weather without air conditioning is tiring, and writing is less relaxing than sleeping, and 2. I have been sick/ having eye problems. Eye problems meaning one day I woke up and could not open my left eye. I still cannot see out of it, but at least it no longer hurts or looks overly red.

But now I return to tell you about Honduran beers. There are to be exact, four major beers. Not one, not two, not three, but count em' up and take it to the bank, four major Honduran beers. Going alphabetically, here is the rundown:

Bahrena: Its reputation is twofold: 1. the beach beer, and 2. the chick beer. But the thing you really need to know 3. is that Bahrena is terrible. Flavorless and tasteless, I really don't understand why Honduran women prefer this beer. OK, that's a lie. I think I know. They prefer it because the beer's silly marketing is effective and they feel like they should like it. But marketing does not a beer make. Nor does the validation of 20 year-old women in an unknown country in Central America actually make a beer good. So yeah, don't drink this.

Imperial: The reputation: a manly beer, for manly men, who do manly things with their strong, manly bodies. It is also bad. Tastes like Natty Light with twice as much as water. That said if you are going to hang out with a few Honduran bros, prepare to knock back a few of these guys.

Port Royal: The classy beer of Honduras. For better people. Might cost you a full two dollars in an upscale nightclub. Gasp! Don't worry its normally its less than $1.25. Other good news: Port Royal is a pretty drinkable beer. Kind of has the sense of a beer that knows its supposed to be finer and tastier than  its counterparts, but doesn't really know how to accomplish this. That said, the initial sweetness is nice and you can taste actual hops. Nice to enjoy on the beach or while watching soccer.

Salva Vida: The staple. The classic. You've just gotta have it. It's Salva Vida: the Honduran beer that's everywhere. Importantly, it also gave rise to the line, and rare Honduran pop culture reference,  "Yo no quiero agua, yo quiero Salva Vida," (it's a twist on a Pitbull line, and its fucking great I tell you). Most importantly, Salva Vida isn't that bad. Not exactly high praise, but the stuff is drinkable. So drink up, young man/woman.

Final, thing to note. Bud Light, Coors Light, and Miller Light are worshipped here. They are not any better, if at all better, than Salva Vida. But they are American, and they are symbolic of high status. So people love them here. Don't rip on them too much, if offered one, you will break a Honduran's heart. Just tell him you will have a Port Royal because you want to try the local stuff.